So this is me …. post workout … day 1.
Yes I said day 1… now I know a lot of you will now be thinking… but she started at gym a couple of weeks back… that ‘couple’ of weeks back being the main key word there! Since that last post I’ve done sweet nothing. Well that’s not completely true.. I’ve done nothing in terms of gym workouts but I have, however, been extremely successful in achieving reaching my all time heaviest weight. 😢😢
So today is day 1.
I went to slimming world (which is where I discovered this awful truth… to be fair I knew it, I could feel it, I’ve never felt more uncomfortable than I do now and so standing on them scales tonight hurt… but also woke me up).
So after slimming world, straight to the gym we went. Now I decided to begin with, and usually I hate them…but needed something to follow, .. a couch to 5k just till I get those running legs back and then I’ll just get back to my running. But whilst I’m at the “dying at the slightest bit of exercise” stage I thought I need something (and I mean literally just any form of exertion and I feel breathless and exhausted… another sign the weight was far too much and had crept up).
So my first workout was a set of 10x 2 mins walk/1 min easy run. Now baring in mind I had already been walk/jogging on the treadmill for a good 10mins before I decided to do this routine.. I think I did pretty well.
The first few sets of the routine were hard. I mean really hard. I’m not going to lie, I very nearly quit! It wasn’t my legs so much.. although they did feel a heavy (I wonder why, considering I have tree trunks attached to my lower half right now) but it was more the breathing. A struggle I always have when running. If I think, even for a second, about my breathing, oh my God, it’s like my lungs realise they’re suddenly being used and they start feeling like they aren’t doing there job properly. Now some of you may be thinking… well that can’t be good, you need to go get yourself checked.. but yes I am very unfit, but I do know that with me it’s psychological as when I don’t think about breathing and manage to distract my mind to think about anything but my breathing it relaxes and I get into a more settled rhythm. (I’m not going to say it’s all quiet and relaxed once I do find the rhythm and yes I most likely do still sound like I’m dying but I can get by). So yes I struggled like crazy, breathing all over the place and I thought there is no way I’m going to be able to complete this set of the routine, I though about going to just the 15mins mark and then quitting. However, I then started to get into a better rhythm, the legs seemed a little more lighter (a little). But more importantly I found my breathing rhythm and managed to, with the help of some good tunes through the headphones, distract myself which allowed me to settle and gather myself together and get through the whole 30mins. I think the poor guy next to me was worried, my recovery period (for those of you who are thinking ..what?.. it’s getting the breathing rate back down to a “normal” level) this was a little extended especially for those first few rounds and I had barely recovered before I had to run again.. I did see him looking a little in my direction with worry, the bright red face probably didn’t help his thoughts either. But I survived. I did it. I completed the full 30mins set. And although I have felt the workout (but in my mind that’s a good thing, as I know I’ve worked my body) I did it. I achieved my goal and feel good about it.
So small steps, and much later than it should have been, but I am doing it. The training for the Marathon has begun. I may not be able to run far right now, but I will be able to do this. It won’t be easy, it’s going to be both mentally and physically challenging and I know there will be days I’ll be down and feeling like I can’t do this and then other days I’ll feel amazing and like I can smash it. Let’s hope it’s more of the latter!
I need to do this for a good few reasons, the main one being, my health and fitness. Running is what I enjoy. My mental health I’ve been struggling a lot with. And have done for a good few months now. Not something I find easy to admit as up until a year ago I’ve always been an amazingly strong personality and managed to keep it all together so to speak. But this past year I’ve had some things that have challenged me and tested me, and at times got the better of me. But I’m feeling like I’m getting out of it now, (still a journey to go but I see the light) and this Challenge I have set myself will by no means be easy, but will do me the world of good!
I will do this for the charity but far more importantly I will do this for me! It’s not just about the running of the marathon it’s the getting myself sorted too!!!
Thanks for reading, catch you soon 💜💜